Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
