I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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