ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
