you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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