ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
