You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
