The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
