He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
