You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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