so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
