physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he shaved USA in his pubs
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
