I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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