Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
