I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
