get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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