So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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