I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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