apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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