I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
