i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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