i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
