I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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