12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
