What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
