To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
