I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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