Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
