I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
