You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
