The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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