and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
