insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
