The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
