do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
