Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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