The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
