If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i will never coherently bang her
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
