note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
