I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bondingš
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, āYou have a nice night, maāamā with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I donāt know how to sext. What do you say? What do you donāt say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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