He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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