Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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