AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
