Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
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