I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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