..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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