ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
