Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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