I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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