Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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