You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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