How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
