first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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