Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
